Anxious

Greetings! I'm in a moderate mood today. My parents planning on going back to our hometown on the day I'll receive my exam result. Of course I'm anxious. Being not able to collect your own result on the big day is like killing you inside.

I do wonder, will I pass with flying colors? Sigh, I don't even know what to think. The result thought keep getting on my nerve. I wist I don't have to know it. But on the other hand, I want to know if I did well in the exam. Aish, sad life.

Suddenly, a thought run through my mind. Is there any other situation that I'll feel anxious? Let me think. Maybe, if something but happen. Maybe if someone leaving without telling? Hmm, there's a lot!

Oh talking about leaving. If I were to move away from where I currently live, since I'm a quite dramatic type. I'll not tell my friend a single thing. Then, just leave without news. But since we're surrounded by technologies, they'll eventually will found me on blog, Twitter or Facebook. Kekeke~

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Jealous

Girl and jealousy always come together in a relationship. It is a way to show that she loves you. But sometimes, jealousy can be quite burdensome if it went too far.

I put myself in the easily-get-jealous category. Well, it's sounds normal since a girl said that. Being unattractive person I am, I often get jealous watching a cute or sweet couple on TV. The way they hold their hands, the way they smile sweetly while looking at each other or the way they prepare something specials for their loved one is enviable.

My minds went far ahead thinking about my future. What kind of person will I be? Will I always get jealous even over a small thing? What kind of person will I met? Will I face difficulty in my relationship? Will every single acts be my concern at that time? With this, I'll patiently try to wait for the answers as time pass by.

Every girl will at least once fantasizes about their man. Some loves the bad boy style - A guy that is cold to almost everyone but only sweet to herself. There are also the romantic type - A guy that treat his woman with manners and tell everyone that she's his one and only.

Girls will also fantasizes about the way they'll be propose. Having no ideas about others proposal stories, I wish mine could be romantic. Asking me to come somewhere without telling the reasons, he'll surprise me with a melodious notes of the piano. Accompanied by his delicate voice serenading me a beautifully written song. The way he played while looking slightly at me, revealing a sweet blush on my cheeks.

That's my tales. Of course it will never happened, but putting a bit hope on it wouldn't hurt anybody except myself. I believe I am strong enough to endure it if my loves story wouldn't go as I wish. Always expect that lives will flows different from our imagination. At times, we have to expect the unexpected.

My friends already experience love, puppy love to be exact. They've been hurt so much but neither any of them try to avoid the feelings. Sometimes I wonder, maybe being in love didn't really hurt that much. But, watching them crying over it and being not able to forget everything makes me feel afraid, even to have a crush on someone. They said for your heart not to be broken, pretend you don't have one.

Yes, that's the only reason I hardly has a guy friend. Maybe a few but it stays as a classmate or a friend that I can be a dork with. For me, a girl has to appear to be difficult to approach. Although I realizes that I am not that great, putting a wall in between will at least saves me and my precious heart.

Seeing me, my friends says that when someone didn't experience puppy love when they were young, the risks of getting hurt are more compared to someone who did. Honestly, I didn't believe in that because teenage problems are comparable to love. I did face them, a lot actually. So, judging by that I know I'm a tough character.

Concluding, even for not-so-perfect person like myself, I do have dreams. A dream that will hurt my pride if someone come across it. I'm a person that actually put a mask in front of everyone. Behind it, I hide all my weakness. Maybe one day, I finally believe my real self. Showing the world who I really am, a moment that will come by flying together with the times.

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The Owner Speech

Hello, to anybody who came across this blog. Truthfully, nobody knows about it existence except myself. I do own another blog and still running it although it haven't been updated for a few months. It's fascinating seeing that there is someone who actually cares that I didn't update my other blog for so long. I do appreciate her. She's one of the reason of my happiness. Having her by my side already makes me grinning from ear to ear. Seeing her dorky act and listening to her non-stop sentences.

I do know I'm lacking a lot in English. but at least I tried to correct it using the auto-correct. Well, it's already an application. Fool me if I don't use it wisely, right?

My writing is already in the third stanza but I still haven't introduce myself. Silly me. Hello again and my name is Aqyla Zackry. Just like the link. I'm turning sixteen this upcoming March and I don't really like. Being a sweet sixteen, some people might says that it is a blooming age. For me, I think I'm getting older day by day. In blink of eyes, I have only 4 years to go till I'm twenty. Hah~ Now I know how older people feel.

Anyway, I live in a beautiful city called Klang in I-don't-really-know-who-are-you neighborhood. Yeah, my mom knows the neighbors but not me. I'm not really friendly with people. Plus, there are nobody that were around my age here. So, why would I care?

From my point of view, I am an awkward person. I don't get along with new people and tend to look like a cold person on the outside. I am also awkward when I'm with kids. I do like them but I don't how to start a conversation.

Secondly, I tend to get jealous with people that are close to me. People that I can show my true self. I am jealous when they act closer to someone then they are with me, when they tell their biggest secret to someone rather than to me and when they rely on somebody else other than me. It's kind of selfish but it's true.

Thirdly, as a blood type A person, I keep my problems from everyone around me. Basically, I'm fake in front of them. It's not that I don't need someone to talk, I do of course. Everybody needs someone. It just that my ego get over me and I don't like to show my weak side in front of people. That's why I never once cried even in front of my parents.

Other reason is that I am nicknamed as The Smiling Angel because my cheerful side by people who know me. Also because my eyes get smaller and I have dimples while smiling. People find it cute. Well, I am not really confident of being pretty but I am very sure that I have a cute facial features. Tell me that I'm cocky but at least I believe in my looks.

I am different in front of my family and friends. In front of my family, I'm a clumsy person. Always trips everything whether I'm sitting or walking. I am the smart ass that everybody put a lot of hope when big exams is coming up compared to my cousins. I am the obedient but a devil behind their back.

In front of my friends, I am reliable. I listen to them and doing good in comforting people. I have a soft spot for people that are important to me. Means, I give in if we fight about something stupid and I protect and cared for them in almost everything. I give off a leader-like aura but I would pass the responsibilities if I were to get the chances.

I am quite dorky but when I get serious is when I meant everything I said. I also have a naughty habit pulling pranks or teasing people to death. They will get annoyed with it but eventually they just get it over.

As a person, my laptop is my most precious item. It is the only way people will understand my thought and the way I'm thinking. I also have an on-going fiction in it. For me, the fiction I'm writing are quite fun. People will enjoy reading it. At least.

For living, I really admire the friendship bond between Girls' Generation member. The way they can still communicate with each other through their eyes, I admit I'm jealous of that kind of relationships. I mean, it's hard to find a friend that can really understand you. So having nine person with different personalities in a group but still able to get along with each other was cool.

I enjoy listening to Soshi songs since they are my favorite group but ballad songs also blends me well. I also enjoy soft piano composition and natural sounds such as chirping and the wave. I take interest in piano but never had a chance to learn it yet since my parents didn't let me.

I'll stop my typing here. Having to write this much about myself make me realize that I actually don't even know myself that much. I don't wish to continue my biography anytime in the future so I hope you'll be happy with my simple introduction. By finishing this, anticipate the world from my view. Thank you for reading. Annyeong!

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