I put myself in the easily-get-jealous category. Well, it's sounds normal since a girl said that. Being unattractive person I am, I often get jealous watching a cute or sweet couple on TV. The way they hold their hands, the way they smile sweetly while looking at each other or the way they prepare something specials for their loved one is enviable.
My minds went far ahead thinking about my future. What kind of person will I be? Will I always get jealous even over a small thing? What kind of person will I met? Will I face difficulty in my relationship? Will every single acts be my concern at that time? With this, I'll patiently try to wait for the answers as time pass by.
Every girl will at least once fantasizes about their man. Some loves the bad boy style - A guy that is cold to almost everyone but only sweet to herself. There are also the romantic type - A guy that treat his woman with manners and tell everyone that she's his one and only.
Girls will also fantasizes about the way they'll be propose. Having no ideas about others proposal stories, I wish mine could be romantic. Asking me to come somewhere without telling the reasons, he'll surprise me with a melodious notes of the piano. Accompanied by his delicate voice serenading me a beautifully written song. The way he played while looking slightly at me, revealing a sweet blush on my cheeks.
That's my tales. Of course it will never happened, but putting a bit hope on it wouldn't hurt anybody except myself. I believe I am strong enough to endure it if my loves story wouldn't go as I wish. Always expect that lives will flows different from our imagination. At times, we have to expect the unexpected.
My friends already experience love, puppy love to be exact. They've been hurt so much but neither any of them try to avoid the feelings. Sometimes I wonder, maybe being in love didn't really hurt that much. But, watching them crying over it and being not able to forget everything makes me feel afraid, even to have a crush on someone. They said for your heart not to be broken, pretend you don't have one.
Yes, that's the only reason I hardly has a guy friend. Maybe a few but it stays as a classmate or a friend that I can be a dork with. For me, a girl has to appear to be difficult to approach. Although I realizes that I am not that great, putting a wall in between will at least saves me and my precious heart.
Seeing me, my friends says that when someone didn't experience puppy love when they were young, the risks of getting hurt are more compared to someone who did. Honestly, I didn't believe in that because teenage problems are comparable to love. I did face them, a lot actually. So, judging by that I know I'm a tough character.
Concluding, even for not-so-perfect person like myself, I do have dreams. A dream that will hurt my pride if someone come across it. I'm a person that actually put a mask in front of everyone. Behind it, I hide all my weakness. Maybe one day, I finally believe my real self. Showing the world who I really am, a moment that will come by flying together with the times.
류 자라
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